On Orthodox-Christian Moral Upbringing of Pre-School Age Children.

By Professor I. M. Andreyev (author of Russian Catacomb Saints)

“Without Me ye can do nothing” (John 15. 5).

First of all, we consider it necessary to declare in a straightforward and definite manner, that according to our sincere and firm conviction, only the canonically true Orthodox Christian Church, possessing the fulness of Grace of the Holy Spirit, together with Her holy Sacraments, holy Dogmas, holy Fathers’ literature with its unfolded teaching on Christian morality in Moral Theology—only it is capable of giving a firm foundation to the formation of a complete and practicable pedagogic system for the moral upbringing of children.

In the hierarchy of values the highest, first place, position is undoubtedly occupied by religion. The most perfect religion that exists—is Christianity. Christianity is incomprehensible without the Church. The one, true, holy, catholic and apostolic Church is the Orthodox Church.

The Divine Founder of Christianity—the God-Man Christ —could never either make a mistake or speak untruths. Every Word of His—was Truth, perfect, absolute, Divinely-Revealed Truth. To watch over and guard this truth from perversion and false interpretation has been entrusted to the True Church: The millennial, “sobornaya,”[1] religious experience of the holy ones, formulated in accordance with the teaching of the holy Fathers and Teachers of the Church, is the highest and incontestable authority. The harmonious opinion of the Orthodox Church which is based upon a concordant, millennial, ‘‘sobornaya” intelligence of holy men—cannot be mistaken.

Systems of ethics (i.e. teaching concerned with morality) may be of three kinds: 1) so-called autonomous ethics (for example, the self-governing ethics of Kant) 2) heteronomous ethics (i.e. based upon some other sciences, for example, on biology, sociology etc.), and, finally, 3) theonomous ethics (i.e. based upon religion). Only the last system is capable of being seriously founded. Christian ethics, i.e. ethics built on the most perfect religion of Christ—is capable of being irrefutably established. And it is namely this church-orthodox Christianity that has been used as a basis for all our subsequent deliberations and instructions.

Orthodox-Christian teaching dealing with the religious-moral upbringing of children is in itself an ideal, complete, holy Fathers’ pedagogic system, which, of course, in life is incapable of being realized to the end in practice. But then an ideal namely must be unrealizable. Only then can it be an unchangeable ideal, constantly indicating the degree of deviation during the practical striving towards its attainment.

In the present article we consciously have tried to avoid self-mindedness and have expounded ideas which have been derived from holy Fathers’ works and highly spiritual authoritative teachers of the 19th and 20th centuries, such as the following: the Optina elders, bishops Theophan the Recluse and Ignatius Brianchaninov, eternally to be remembered father John of Kronstadt, and likewise famous Russian theologians, professors of moral theology, missionaries and preachers such as, for example, professors of the Kazan Academy V. I. Nesmelov, professor of S.P.B. Academy protopresbyter father I. L. Yanishev, professor of the Moscow Academy M. M. Tareyev, professor of S.P.B. Academy A. A. Bronzov, professor and archpriest I. I. Bazarov and others. Thus our task may be likened to that of a conscientious bee’s, which collects nectar in the splendid orchards of Russian Moral Theology. We have permitted ourselves only to systematize the material which we obtained and to give it a character of completeness and aimfulness, and in all this based ourselves for support upon the strictly-scientifically founded data on child psychology, pedagogics psychology, experimental pedagogics and child psychiatry.

Moscow Academy: Holy Trinity Lavra

Why have we limited ourselves to considering the problem of the moral upbringing of only pre-school age children? For the reason that we consider namely this period of human life the most important and the basic one in the matter of bringing up the child. Pedagogic psychology teaches us, that in the first 3 years of its life, the child receives a third of all the subsequent life conceptions of a mature human being. Further, a well-known Austrian scholar and a great specialist on pedagogic psychology, Charlotte Bueler, in her investigative work ‘‘Human Life as a Psychological Problem” (1933), affirms, that during the first years of one’s life, a human being sets up the canvas of his whole subsequent life. In other words, a grown man in the course of his whole life only broadens and gives depth to that which has formed within his soul during the period of his first seven years of life. There is much truth in this assertion; The basic characteristics of a human being, as well as the fundamentals of his perceptions of the world about him, actually are formed before adolescence (approximately at the seventh year).

Of primary importance, the main thing that has to be understood and accepted by each educator, is the following—the basic position of Christian pedagogics: that true morality is impossible without the aid of the Church. Without the aid of the holy Church Sacraments, it is impossible to give a stable, truly moral upbringing to the child; without the help of the Church truly moral living for a mature man also is impossible.

Properly speaking, the foundation of the religious-moral upbringing of a child is established even before its birth. But how rare it is for those young people who plan to enter wedlock to think of their tremendous personal responsibility for the life of the future newly-born child. Wedlock is a great Sacrament of the Church. Just before this Sacrament is entered upon, the Church requires that two other Sacraments be taken by the prospective husband and wife: that of Repentance and Communion. With this it is further required that the prospective husband and wife had the Sacraments of Baptism and Anointment[2] previously administered to them. The grace of all these Sacraments (Baptism, Anointment, Repentance, Communion and Wedlock), nurturing the soul and body of the parents cannot but come into contact with the soul and body of the child already conceived and to be born in the future. But now, the gracefu.1 Sacraments exist only in the bosom of the Graceful (i.e. in the true, canonically sound), Church. And if even one of the parents does not belong to such, then it cannot but affect the children to their disadvantage. Do the prospective husband and wife think of this? The blessing of the future parents for entry into wedlock is also necessary to the future child. The degree of purity in the souls and bodies of those entering wedlock has a tremendous significance (inheritance) and without doubt affects future generations. Of particular significance for the basis of a religious-moral upbringing of the future child, is the spiritual and physical state of the woman during her period of bearing up until the time of breastfeeding the newborn infant. Indeed, prior to birth the developing infant makes up one whole. one organism together with the mother. And during breast feeding the child receives maternal milk, a product of her living spiritual-physical organism. The soul is mysteriously related to the whole organism. And in the milk of the mother—there is a part not only of her body, but also of her soul. In recent times the vast majority of newborn children are fed artificially, and not on mother’s milk. This likewise cannot but lead to harmful effects in the infant.

Wedding at Cana

Let us recall, that the very word education (“vospitanie”) includes in itself the sense of nutrition (“pitanie”). Nutriment is necessary for both body and soul. There is nothing more disastrous for the beginning of religious-moral upbringing than the very widespread opinion of our times—the supposition, that the newborn is in need only of bodily care.

Christianity affirms that man’s designation is not limited only to life on earth, but extends out to eternity. Therefore the upbringing of a child also should progress in accordance with this twofold designation in man’s fate. The teaching of Christ is the sole true way that leads a man while he still is on earth into heaven. (“I am the way and the truth and life” St. John 14.6).

The spiritual life of the newborn infant develops at first without any activity on his own part, from which it is possible to conclude, that man is subject to the law of development. But this necessity does not hinder him from being free; on the contrary, it only proves to us that man, according to the intention of his Creator, is a being who is of necessity free, for the primary spiritual development of the child is nothing more than the development of the capacity to be free. It is impossible to suppose the Creator, after having set up a definite purpose for his creation (the free striving toward eternal Good), would not also have granted him the means for the realization of this latter purpose. And actually it is so, in observing the natural development of a human being from the moment of his birth, we cannot but notice, that all in him is adjusted for the attainment of the latter above mentioned purpose of his existence. The very capacity of developing a consciousness is already a preparation for this purpose. The strikingly moral character of the instincts that are being aroused in him is indubitable proof of his superiority over all forms of life and of everything on earth. His physical organism is so created that it is impossible not to see it as a holy earthly cathedral wherein the Holy Spirit is meant to dwell. “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy, for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.” (Corinth. 3.16-17). How terribly these words of Apostle Paul sound. From here expectedly follows the punishment “for having offended one of these little ones”—to be drowned in the sea with a millstone about the neck. Starting from perceptions of indistinct feelings, the consciousness of the child imperceptibly and gradually becomes transformed into intelligence which in later life allows him slowly and gradually to ascend to an exalted and splendid level of feeling, to the contemplation of the infinite and holy. The awakening intelligence of the child is originally pure, immediately responsible, in a state of primal unity, whole. Happy to the degree of being incapable of discouragement and like an opening bud of a splendid flower. His conscience is angelically pure and of infantine inexperience; his self-consciousness is yet unclear.

This human being who was just born now enters the world —into a sinful world. And so now there begins the destructive influence of this world on the young soul of the yet innocent infant who, however, has been conceived in sin. All the best, all the holy and pure that a child is born with, begins to undergo destruction upon his coming into contact with the world. The reason for this is—original sin. This is why the just mentioned so called natural development of a human being, under the condition of all the capacities that have been placed in him by God, does not attain· its designated goal. Man himself not only is incapable of attaining the goal that has been set before him by God, but even of finding a beginning to the way leading to this goal. Without the help of the Saviour Himself and Redeemer Christ salvation of the soul is impossible. The guidance to this salvation has been entrusted to the Church of Christ. The true moral upbringing of a child (i.e. the nutrition of both the body and the soul) is possible only within the bosom of this Church.

Upbringing comes before education. If education can begin only with the development of the natural capacities in. man, then upbringing begins from the very moment the infant makes his appearance into the world. This upbringing builds the foundation upon which all the subsequent capacities of a human being are founded. Education of a child without previously having brought him up properly is like trying to build a house on sand. The upbringing of a child is that cornerstone on which we can begin to build the cathedral of his life. One should try to bring up that which can serve him as a guide on the path leading from earthly through to eternal, heavenly life.

The heart of man is the source of his· feelings and activity. If the Saviour Himself said, that ‘‘out of the heart proceed evil thoughts” (Matthew 15.19), then obviously man can not get along without bringing up his heart. The heart is the root of all of man’s moral living. Therefore the first and foremost task of upbringing should be to give the heart a good orientation. In a completely imperceptible manner the process of differentiation in psychic capacities begins within the infant’s soul, which at first had a character of wholeness and primal harmoniousness: activity begins in the mind, feeling and will. The mind is aroused to activity and as a result of the sinful nature of man it begins on the one hand to strive to emancipate itself and on the other hand—to tyranically influence the will. The original primal state of harmony between mind, heart and will begins to break down. The sinful world begins to penetrate into the soul of the child. Then, along with continuing to bring up the heart, it becomes necessary also to begin influencing the mind, i.e. the capacities of intelligence in the child.

The Divine teaching of Christ has that wonderful quality, that very early it begins to be accessible to the minds of infants, being at the same time inexhaustible for the minds of the most profound thinkers. If inert nature: sunlight, air, moisture and earth renew life of the plants, then why should not the spirit of the Divine Word not be capable of animating the souls of infants? Christianity, according to the opinion of the holy Fathers of the Church, is more effectively applicable to the age group of children than to matured humans. This is explained by the fact that everything in Christianity is extremely close to the nature of man and in children this nature is purer and less harmed than in matured humans. That is why, Christ said: ‘‘except ye be converted and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 18.3).

Christian upbringing begins especially to penetrate into the soul of the newborn infant as early as at the administering of the holy Sacraments of Baptism and Anointment, when the Godparents give a vow before God for the christened child to be true to the essential principles of Christian living: faith, hope and love. The first moments of life of the baptized infant are filled with the graceful effects of the Holy Spirit, which have been sealed by the mysterious seals of holy Anointment. And after a short period of time the invisible grace that has been received begins to produce its effects in the new spiritually-endowed cathedral. The awakening consciousness of the child, enlightened by the grace of the “Sacraments of the Holy Spirit”, becomes capable of further growing and perfecting itself in the above indicated basic Christian essential principles of life: faith, hope and love. The innocent newborn baptized infant, unburdened by cares, enjoys the existence received from God. He lives quietly in the present, not yet knowing the nature of time with regard to his past and future. Some holy Fathers of the Church compared such a state with the state of eternal peace, without sad regret for the past, without anxiety with regard to the future. Other spiritual writers compared such a state to the purest faith and complete trust, which are possible only for a pure innocent infancy with its incapacity for any doubt. But here the experience of associating with the surrounding world teaches the infant to distinguish inanimate objects from animate ones, to distinguish himself from the love of those that surround him. And in the infantile soul there arises a new sprout of a Divine seed: the infant himself begins to learn to love. The first object of his love, of course, and with especial love, are his surrounding, related, close ones. The first year of his life passes—and the first period of his development begins. He already is on his feet, he already is capable of expressing his first feelings of trust and love. He continues to remain happy with what is immediately about him, but this already is not the happiness he once had in his cradle. At that time there still did not exist for him either a past or a future. Now he already has begun to distinguish them. Especially important it is that he begins to understand and learns to expect a future. In connection with this, besides the capacities of faith and love, there begins to emerge in his conscience a new capacity—that of hope.

The second year of his life primarily should gradually deepen and strengthen his capacities to assimilate the basic principles of Christian living already indicated above. In the third year of life, distrust combined with fear towards unfamiliar persons often becomes very strikingly noticeable. The child feels calm and secure only when he is closely pressed up to his parents or those close to his heart, whom he likes and whom he completely entrusts his life to. At three years the consciousness of his individuality first arises, and for the first time he speaks of himself as—”I” (and not “he” with pointing to himself). However, calling himself “I”, he still for some time accompanies this with the gesture of pointing to himself.

At this period of his life it is especially important to give particular attention to the bringing up in him of obedience. The holy Fathers stress that obedience is to be ‘‘obtained”, ‘‘conquered” through true wise love. True love cannot but be mutual. When the child in response to the mother’s tender caress, for the first time responds gratefully and joyfully by pressing up to the cheek or breast of his mother—this means, that a ground has been laid for the development of obedience in the child, that in him the latter is being ‘conquered’ and ‘obtained’. It is impossible to bring up a child without obedience. Obedience is rightly called “the foundation of education”.

The most difficult thing is that obedience has to be free, voluntary and not imposed, it must be based upon love, and not upon fear before force. And in this tender age fear is necessary but of a special kind: the fear of God, fear of losing the love of the loved one, fear of offending the one who loves. The loving mother, who was able to make herself loved, should be capable at the necessary moment to leave her child in order that it, being denied for a certain period of time the caressing relationship of the mother, be attracted to her even more strongly than before. Without the help of the holy Sacraments of the Church, it is impossible “to obtain” obedience from the child. It is necessary to give Communion to the child as frequently as possible, and the mother herself ought to go to Confession and take Communion frequently. If the already indicated above mentioned basic Christian essential principles of faith, love and hope are to develop, then and only then, upon their foundation can a basis for true obedience be engendered. To have in one’s hands the will of the child without the threat of force—this is the main thing in bringing up the child. And one should utilize this with skill in the moral upbringing of the child. One cannot impose moral rules on a child while he is yet unable to understand them.

In general, how does the will develop in a human being? Stimuli are needed to set the will into motion. Consequently, in order to direct the child’s will it is necessary to gain control over his stimuli or else cause them to be engendered within him. The most natural and strongest stimuli of activity in man proceed from those very same above indicated three essential principles of Christian living: faith, love and hope. In order to begin bringing up the will of the child, the parents or pedagogues first of all must understand, that this is impossible of realization without the fulness of a sincere, loving heart, bearing a full and clear personal conviction in the sincerity of its intentions. We cannot count on success without a full, heartfelt trust towards our teaching on the part of children. Simultaneously with giving instruction, we absolutely must give a personal living example, which can act not only upon the will (according to the law of imitation), but also upon the development of moral conscience. If, however, you begin to cram a child’s mind only with rules, not enlivening them through examples, then you will fruitlessly force both his mind and his heart, of which the first is yet incapable of conceiving form without content, and the latter—can not take part in that which does not directly affect it.

Personal example is of decisive significance in the matter of bringing up a child. How is it possible for a child to accept some form of instruction from you as guidance for his activity, when in y our own manner of living he sees a striking contradiction to your teaching?

Only he, who gives the child a continual living example of active good through one’s living in a completely adequate manner, can guide the will of the child. Without doubt, during the education of the child’s will, there will be occasion to have recourse both to encouraging rewards as well as to stimulating punishments. But here it is especially important to remember that these measures should be applied with extreme caution and prudence, for, just as extreme punishments, so also extreme rewards can bring great and irreparable harm to the young soul. A general method of procedure cannot be given here, for nowhere does the individuality of the child being brought up play so great a role, as during the assignment of this or that type or degree of encouragement or warning. How often it is that mistakes in this direction turn out to be a source of great suffering in the course of the brought up child’s whole life. Both abuse of reward as well as thoughtlessness and cruelty in punishment can in like manner easily permanently stifle the elements of faith and love that the child has in his soul for his imprudent parents or educators. The spoiling of children and the showing of too much indulgence for all the whims and caprices of the child implants disobedience, self-will, egotism, sloth, hypocrisy, ingratitude, disrespect, and in addition both contempt for their educators and irritability, wrath, anger and scorn for all those strangers who dare trying to oppose the unrestrained self-will and foolish behaviour of the child. Later such children often lose their faith and fall into depression and despair when misfortunes occur in their lives, and sometimes even speak sacrilegiously against God. Eternally to be remembered father John of Kronstadt speaks thus with regard to children’s caprices: ‘‘The caprice—it is a germ of corruption in the soul, a rust in the heart, a mold in love, a seed of anger, an abomination before the Lord.”

St. John of Kronstadt

A true Christian should humbly kiss the chastising Hand of the Lord. And that is why the Christian upbringing of the child should strive to have the child accept punishment from his parents or educators with a feeling of his guilt, with acknowledgment of the justice in the wrath and resultant punishment that have beset him and—(and this is most important)— with a fear of losing the love of the beloved and loving ones. This benevolent fear has tremendous religious-moral significance: on its basis later a true ‘‘fear of God” develops, fear of sin and of losing the grace of the Holy Spirit, the attainment of which, according to the words of St. Seraphim of Sarov, is the aim of a Christian’s life.

The main and most dependable scale for determining what means of encouragement and punishment primarily have to be utilized in relation to this or another child—is the understanding of the individual structure of the developing moral consciousness in the child being brought up. For the child in whom the feeling of faith develops especially strongly—mere warning is sufficient, while direct punishment may be unbeneficial, for with faith that is developed sufficiently strongly and deeply—a warning is already equivalent to punishment. In the case of marked development in a child of the basis of Christian virtues—hope (arising from a sufficiently developed faith)—moderate rewards and punishments may be extremely effective. However, in the case where the child’s feeling of love is clearly, deeply and strongly developed, which expresses itself in immediate compassion, attentive sensitivity to the tone of feeling in those about him and in tender grateful caresses towards them—there is no necessity here for having recourse either to punishment or frequent encouragement and rewards, for here love itself is a reward. In such cases the educators have only more frequently to express their sincere active love for all the close and distant people who come in contact with the child.

In cases where punishment is accompanied by even the slightest trace of vengeance coming from an irritated heart, or bears a shade of anger on the part of the educator who is even entirely justified in his demands—in these cases the basis of the child’s faith in the sincerity of the punishing educator cannot but be undermined. Even in the youngest of infantile hearts there is an especial capacity to feel, permitting to distinguish force by right of the stronger from constraint by virtue of obligation towards love. The first—embitters, but the second—humbles the revolting elements in the developing soul. From such humility there later grows sincere heartfelt obedience.

When the child begins to stand on his feet, then the first manifestations of his independence make their appearance. Having felt his new powers and capacities, he strives to make his first step away from us. How important it is that the first step not bring him to a fall. For then the child will for a long time not be able himself to decide to start walking alone. Who can help him more than his own mother at this time? Who else is capable of better teaching him to join his first independent steps with the faith and hope of receiving help of love from without? Having set her child at a short distance from her, the mother beckons for him to enter her outstretched arms, and the child, drawn by the power of love and trust—makes his first step. What a moving picture of faith prompted by love! “Who from childhood becomes accustomed to hastening in so involuntary-loving a manner to the voice of one’s mother, he in his mature years responds more rapidly to the call of our Heavenly Father”—one of the spiritual teachers of the latter age justly notes (archpriest Fr. I Bazarov).

During the second year the child starts to walk and to speak. If his first steps have a significance of attempts towards physical independence, then his first conscious words—are a striving towards moral independence. From this moment there begins for the child a new, extremely important period in his life: he has to learn to speak from those that surround him. The gift of the word—is a wonderful and mysterious gift from God. The method of developing this gift—is through the law of imitation which has been placed into the soul of the child by God.

Make haste then, parents and educators, those who are about the child beginning to speak, to fill his soul with clean, reasonable words. If in the second half of the first year of his life the child primarily becomes acquainted with space, time, colors, forms, sounds, movements, which overwhelm his outer feelings, then now all this begins to penetrate into his soul. “There is no thought without word not any word without thought” (Max Mueller). In beginning to speak, the child also begins to think. In him there appears a new, already purely spiritual need: to clothe in word form all his conscious experiences and consciously to understand the words he hears. The astounding novelty of this new experiences arouses in the child the need of giving an account of all that surrounds him to his developing consciousness. With his mastering of a small resource of word-conceptions, in the child there begins a period of searching questions: “What is this? Why is this?” Ought one to answer all his questions? But he is not yet in a state of including in his consciousness even any simple answers. He does not yet have sufficient attention to be able to concentrate upon the answers. And the number of questions grows increasingly. One cannot leave the questions unanswered. To suppress questions is harmful. How is the educator to manage in such a situation? First of all, it is necessary to understand that at this period in the child only forms of understanding are developing and while they have not yet completely taken shape, they are unable to include in themselves the content of the corresponding conceptions. Covering us with questions, he awaits the satisfaction of his curiosity not so much by content, as by form. Explanations, descriptions, reasoning, proofs—he does not understand and does not need them. In his love, he has faith in each word of the educator. Each answer he earlier is ready to accept as dogma. Therefore each question should be answered by the educator in a dogmatic tone; i.e. a tone without fail convincing, although the essence of the answer be indefinite, evading or in itself even a direct refusal of answer. Only do not deceive the child and do not reason with him. The need for reasoning will come considerably later, when the child begins, although elementarily, but definitely to think logically. In the child intuition precedes logic. Premature reasoning, in the period of his intuitively dogmatic manner of thinking, will develop in him an inclination towards a fruitless kind of reasoning and will undermine his faith in the truthful word of the one beloved by him. Furthermore, lies and falsity will poison the young soul with the poison of doubt and will put out in it the spark of feeling for eternal truth.

The main concern of the educator in this period should be to have the children believe in his word, which never should be foul in the mouth of the Christian-educator. If, in general, “each idle word that men shall speak, they shall give an account thereof in the day of judgment” (Matthew 12.36), then especially grave is the responsibility that will fall to the educator for these words. Under ideal conditions each one of our words, both directly related to the child as well as those said in his presence, should become for him a sacred law. But this is possible only under the condition that this word be sacred for our own selves.

Icon of the Last Judgement

An extremely important manifestation of the child’s development is play. It is rare for children to learn to play together with other children before their third year; usually in this period they play side by side, i.e. each by himself. After the third year practically the whole life of the child, both internal and external, is concentrated on play. Playing alone by himself, the child exercises his thinking and imagination; playing with other children, he brings out his feelings and will, and once more his imagination. But excessive development of imagination—grows large with very heavy consequences. Let us not forget that the first sin of man was engendered in the imagination. Therefore, experienced spiritual teachers recommend more frequently to adjust children in their playing to reality. It is very important, that the voice of love of parents or educators not be sentimental, but deeply and sincerely lyrical and at the same time serious and firm, but yet that these words of warning be dissolved in meekness and tranquility. Only in such a manner is it possible to get the child to fear offending you through his disobedience and for him to love you with a reverent filial fear.

Self-will is inherent in children, but it is necessary without fail to restrain it at its very origin. It is possible and should be broken only in that very same already indicated manner: through a union of love and firmness. True and wise love of parents or educators in no case should allow itself to comply with the self-will of senselessness. Here the most intense measures have been given since we are concerned with the breaking of a stray will and the preservation of the holy principle of faith in the love of the father, mother, or educator. Often a single like instance of firmness and intransigent demand for obedience to the loving parent or educator is sufficient to uproot the seed-bud of a terrible sin from the inexperienced soul of the child. Happy are those parents or educators by whose call the child interrupts its most interesting play in order to carry out their bidding. To obtain this is difficult to the most extreme degree, but also in like degree it is necessary.

Scene Two from "The Life of an Honest & Industrious Man" (buy the poster from Jordanville here)

In the child’s play with those equal in age, the beginnings of social life are engendered. Here conflict of passions and characters is unavoidable; here also character develops in the child. During play the least benefit of all will be brought by numerous reproofs and instructions with regard to separate acts of behaviour; one should not overly restrict the freedom and spontaneity of the playing children’s behaviour; one should not forget the difference between the reactions of children to reprimands made privately from those made in the presence of others; one should not repress each wrong manner of the child’s association with the other children. But attentively observing that which is taking place, one should at definite moments appeal to the general good elements in his behaviour, approving or disapproving not this or some other act involved in play, but those moral motives which condition the acts. Neither offending nor wounding the feelings of separate individuals, one should censure or praise the types of behaviour. Let each individual child relate itself internally to this or some other of the indicated types. This will be of greater benefit to him in a moral sense. In order to, find the right mode of guiding children in mutual play, one has to be capable of loving not only one’s own children, but all children in general, recalling the special love that the Saviour Himself had towards children.

It is of benefit for all those who bring up children to clearly understand the basic differences between bringing up and educating. Bringing up relates to education as the heart relates to all other conscious psychic capacities. Although the tasks of bringing up and education are closely intertwined, however none the less, bringing up always will be of greater importance in the matter of preparation for eternal life, in heaven, while education is needed primarily for the adjustment to temporary life on earth. If you teach the child sincerely to respect his elders and be sincerely loving and reserved towards each of them—then even the external expression of these feelings in them will turn out to be truly splendid manners. But there is nothing more ruinous for the developing heart of the child, than a face-to-face meeting with hypocrisy in man. A remarkable example of such an experience gone through by a deceived child can be found in the splendid narration of Tchekhov—“A Triviality of Life.”

If in this period of the child’s development parents or educators feel themselves to be powerless in their struggle with the indicated difficulties in moral upbringing, then they should immediately turn for help to the Church. One or two conversations of a priest with the child in private (which is like a preparation for entering upon first confession)—can bring very much benefit. But, alas, often the parents themselves also are in need of help and council by the priest, who should call and teach them how to fulfill the wise parental obligation based upon “the fear of God”, which namely is “the beginning of any wisdom” (Proverbs 1.7). In such critical moments of moral upbringing, the parents or educators are obliged to begin revealing to the child also the future fate which awaits him, both in the most immediate period on earth, as well as in a final sense—beyond the limits of earthly life. The virtue of hope, placed by God Himself as a seed into the soul of the child, at this time may and should already begin to bear fruit. Let us recall, what a deep impression was made on great Gogol through the revelation of his fate to him, as a Christian, by his mother, when he was yet but a small child: ‘‘Once, as a child, you told me so well, in so moving a manner about the blessings which await people for virtuous living, and how impressively, how frightfully you described the eternal torments of sinners, that this shook and aroused within me my whole capacity for feeling , this left behind and later brought forth the highest ideas in me”.

With the development of conceptions and speech in the child the period of his learning begins. If his physical development depended upon proper, timely and sufficient nutrition, then mental development also demands such very same proper, timely and sufficient teaching. Recalling the double designation for man —through temporary life on earth to pass to eternal life in heaven, it becomes necessary from the very start to subject the teaching of the child to the principle of this double designation. Consequently, the teaching should begin from that ‘‘one needful thing,” which, according to the words of the Saviour Himself, is ‘‘choosing that good part” and which if it be firmly rooted in the soul, then it never will be taken away from him. But when and how ought one to start the Christian teaching of the infant? “Each soul by nature is a Christian” (Tertullian). The Sacraments of Baptism, Anointment and Communion already have cast the seeds of faith, hope and love into the soul of the child. All of Christianity, from beginning to end, is filled to overflowing with graceful, unattainable and active Mysteries. All in the soul of the Christian infant is already prepared for development. While the child itself is still helpless in self-development, during this time the obligation of cooperating in this development falls to the parents or educators. Woe unto him, who does not fulfill the obligation that is placed upon him by God. According to the sponsors and parents the grace of rebirth descends on the baptized one; according to their piety and faith the yet unthinking infant also receives the especial gifts of God’s blessing; spiritual humidity, spiritual warmth and spiritual light for aiding in germinating the seeds of the three greatest basic virtues of faith, hope and love. In other words the beginning of the infant’s teaching consists of being blessed with Grace which is brought down on him by our faith. From here it is evident, that the first lesson in faith for the infant is the reverent sign of the cross which the pious mother or educator makes over him in his bed for the night and upon awakening. If the power of the sign of the cross, as we all know, has its effect on inanimate nature, then all the more so is it effective in its influence on the live soul of the infant. The sign of the cross and the prayer of the mother over the cradle is a kind of Divine service, and in addition the first lesson in faith. If it is impossible to catch that moment at which the religious development of the child and its instruction start, then is it not more beneficial to start it as soon as possible? Does not the Guardian Angel translate the reverent prayer of the mother into the language of infantile conceptions. In this respect a remarkable experiment was carried out with idiot-children. Renown throughout Russia “Aunt Katy” (Grachev) who devoted her whole life to the bringing up of severe cases of weak-minded children, gave witnessed testimony of how idiots, incapable of elementary acts of self-care and articulate speech— manifested “a Divine spark”, striking flashes of human consciousness, when they were told of God with compassionate human love and sincere faith. In order for the language of faith, hope and Christian love, the language of knowledge of God, the worship of God, reverence and piety to become a native tongue for the soul of the infant, one ought to speak with him in this language right up from the cradle. If the first lisping of the infant, his first ‘‘conversation” with his mother be blessed by the name of Christ on the lips of the mother, if the first movements of his hands be used for making the sign of the cross, and, if the first consciously learned speech be even the shortest of prayers—then without doubt the stable stone foundation of Christian religious teaching will have been laid.

Guardian Angel

With the development of conceptions in the infant (which occurs simultaneously with the development of speech) there unfold before us broad perspectives for diverse instruction of him in faith.

Many parents fear extremely the appearance in the child of ideas concerning death. But this is a great mistake. The infant, having begun to speak, very early is capable of receiving the conception of death and it is necessary to give this conception to him as soon as possible. But, of course, this important conception has to be strictly Christian. And it can be such only in relation to conceptions of the immortality of the soul and the resurrection of the dead. And when we begin to speak with the small child about death and only mention the immortality of the soul and the resurrection of the dead—how joyfully he grasps at this thought; with what excitement, often even incomprehensible to mature people, he looks forward to the future life in heaven and begins to think about his lot and that of others. The hope for a blessed state after death and resurrection is more accessible to him than for mature people, thanks to the purity and immediacy of his childish faith and love. And it is namely after these sublime experiences that the intensified growth of the child’s searching with regard to religious questions begins, so characteristic in normal children on the threshold of adolescence. At this time direct instruction from the lips of the pastor-priest becomes urgently necessary for the child. The parents cannot take the place of such a figure. Here there is demanded a twofold rise in authority. Nobody, besides the servant of the Church, who possesses a spiritual office, is able to become such an authority. The child from infancy has become accustomed to seeing the priest in the cathedral of God, shrouded in the holiness of the Divine service. The priest’s external appearance itself, with its distinct raiment, is often taken up into the mind of the child as a living ikon. With what spontaneous reverent fear and anxious respect the child begins to listen to its new spiritual instructor who has authority from God to teach. The new conception and new word sounds deeply significant in the child’s consciousness—spiritual father. How important it is that from the first words of the priest the child understand that now he is being spoken to about the most important thing in life, of those things which will influence not only his whole life on earth, but also his eternal life in heaven.

When namely then should the child begin to learn the Law of God from his priest? It is impossible to define an exact period. Much depends upon the degree of individual development. But as a general rule, such study should begin at the period of transition from childhood into adolescence, coming immediately before his first Confession.

Holy Confession

First Confession is the main event in the life of the child-adolescent, next after Baptism, Anointment and first Communion. First Confession, on the one hand, is an examination of his whole spiritual, religious-moral development attained during the period of childhood, and, on the other hand—gates of entrance into a new adolescent period, when, usually, upbringing in the family meets a competitor in the form of school upbringing.

The first Confession of the child is also an examination for the parents (or educators), who have prepared the young soul for receiving a new holy Sacrament, called “second Baptism.”

The whole family, pre-school, religious-moral upbringing and education is in itself a struggle for preserving the purity of the child’s soul, who has been born into and is compelled to live in a sinful world that corrupts all that is pure and chaste. The victorious exodus of this struggle is possible only for a pious orthodox Christian family, with the aid of the holy Sacraments of the canonically sound, and therefore undoubtedly graceful, Orthodox Church. In order for the family not to lose heart at the sight of the power of sin and evil in the surrounding world in their acknowledgment of their own weakness in the matter of guarding the soul of the child in the course of the first seven years—it is for this reason that a benevolent and saving beacon has been set up before them: the Sacrament of Repentance in the first Confession, compelling the correction of all mistakes and the filling of all gaps in the weak hrm1an manner of upbringing. The first Confession, ‘‘a second Baptism”—Baptism by first repentant adolescent tears, must be mutually dissolved away by like repentant tears of parents. Happy are those parents, who, despite numerous life obstacles, are able themselves to go to Confession and receive Communion of the holy Sacraments simultaneously with the first Confession and first conscious Communion of their child (at the Baptism of the infant the God-parents likewise should beforehand go to Confession and receive Communion. Does anybody fulfill this at the present time? I had the occasion to see such a “godmother,” who was not able to say by heart the Symbol of Faith).

For the young heart of the adolescent, the first Confession should serve as an indication that for him the time is nearing for independent believing with a personal responsibility before God. Appearing now at the Judgment of the Church with all his as yet adolescent sins, the adolescent-Christian for the first time gives an account of himself before God.

The first Confession often permanently decides the fate of all the falls that are to follow, the repentances, the rises and the spiritual rebirths on the path of life, where ‘‘there is no man who does not sin”.

Orthodox-Christian religious-moral upbringing does not have the right to lose sight of the first Confession, otherwise it will deprive itself of the most effective means for attaining its ends. For Christian upbringing is the beginning of “the path towards salvation”, which is impossible without the help of the holy Sacraments of the Church.

The Sacrament of holy Communion, the most important and the most sacred of all the holy Sacraments, also nurtured the infant before, from the baptismal font to the first Confession, through the faith of his parents and educators. Now, however, the adolescent for the first time consciously comes up to the holy Grail, after the Sacrament of Repentance. The preparation of the adolescent for the worthy reception of the first conscious Communion of the Body and Blood of Christ—this is the concluding, culminating point of orthodox-Christian upbringing.

In order to be worthy of Communion of the Body and Blood of Christ, it is necessary to know and understand the greatly significant words of the Apostle: “he who eat and drink unworthily, eats and drinks judgment unto himself”. This must by all means be known and understood by the adolescent, who for the first time is about to take Communion consciously. For complete preparation towards the first Communion, it is necessary to reveal before the eyes of him who is to take Communion the picture of the life of man from the beginning of his creation and sinful fall to the expiatory Passion of Christ. It is necessary, that the adolescent deeply and thoroughly feel the strength of the Lord’s love for all people. Have him learn and consciously read through (according to his mental powers) the Symbol of Faith and the prayer before Communion. Have him with the whole vitality of a child’s imagination and understanding represent in his mind all the suffering of Christ as something gone through not only for everybody in general, but also in his stead and for him, yet a young sinner. Contrary to usual practice with regard to children, here it is absolutely necessary to shake the soul of the adolescent in order to bring it into the awakening state of perceiving Christianity as an actual reality. However, immediately thereafter, one should calm and gladden the soul with the bright joy of Christ’s Resurrection, with the joy of forgiveness of all the sincerely repentant, and with the joy of the promise: ‘‘He that eateth My flesh and drinketh My blood, dwelleth in Me, and I in him” (St. John 6.56). 

ENDNOTES

[1] i.e., catholic, but in Russian, emphasizing the organic, loving unity achieved through freedom and mutual love.

[2] Used a few times by Andreyev in this piece referring to the Holy Mystery of Chrismation.

Related:

See the book from UMP: Formation in the Love of Truth by Fr. Peter Heers.